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I Thought That Was The Drive-Like-A-Maniac Lane, But I Guess All Of Them Are
A law being proposed in Florida would ban driving too long in the left lane on major highways. The lane would be strictly for passing; someone staying in the lane longer than necessary to pass and return to the next lane could be ticketed for a moving violation. Is this a problem that needs a law to fix? Or is it annoying enough that people will drive too slow in the left lane when you're trying to get by them? (WPTV/West Palm Beach)
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He's Just Not That Into It
This is the story of Anthony Kim. If you follow pro golf, you might remember that for a short time, Kim was a rising star of the PGA Tour, and then, suddenly, he dropped off the tour and disappeared. It's still not clear why he did so other than that he lost his enthusiasm for doing what he was most successful at doing. Some people are extraordinarily gifted at something they don't want to do, and it can be a living hell if that happens. But walking away makes people wonder about you. It's psychologically hard to come to grips with that, and it might also explain Ben Simmons' situation -- the money's great, but maybe you just don't want to be there. (New York Times)
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Yet They're Happy To Sell You As Many Cotton Candy And Churros As You Can Eat
A new Mario Kart ride at Universal Studios Hollywood has a size restriction for riders, but not the usual "you have to be this tall to ride" rule. No, this one bans riders with big waistlines, because they might not fit the ride. Which is fine insofar as you don't want to have someone be unable to secure the safety harnesses, but raises the question of how and why they designed a brand new ride in 2023 that excludes a growing portion of the available market. They couldn't make the ride cars larger? Really? (Wall Street Journal)
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Aaah, We'll Get There When We Get There
There are a lot of reasons to like JetBlue -- the relative comfort, the in-flight TV, the snacks, the relatively low fares. But then there's the recent track record of being the worst airline for on-time arrivals. Which is more important to you when booking air travel? Are you willing to pay more to have a better chance of arriving on or close to schedule? Because the fare difference between, say, Delta and JetBlue can be enormous. (Wall Street Journal)
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At Least The Food'll Be Better
The future of health care, it says here, will include being able to make your home a virtual hospital -- they'll be able to set you up with technology that will enable a doctor or nurse to stop by and take care of you. Yes, this is the past repeating itself: house calls. Somehow, I have a feeling we're gonna pay a lot for this. Also, I'm not sure that if I'm sick enough to be in a hospital, I want to be someplace where a nurse or medications might not be immediately available. It's kinda the point of a hospital that they have the resources to keep you alive, right? (New York Times)
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No Do-Overs
The 29-year-old woman who tried to enroll in high school with a fake birth certificate is a college graduate, which makes this even weirder. Why would anyone... well, would you want to try and relive your high school years? (NJ Advance Media.NJ.com)
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Whatever You Do, Just Don't Try To Blow It Up
Another dead whale washed up on a beach, this time at a Long Island beach right down the strand from where we used to live years ago, and that would be freaky to see. But it's not alone; we've seen several dead whales beached lately, some apparently hit by boats, others just dead. Not sure what's going on here, but perhaps we should all be concerned. (WABC-TV/New York)
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When Commenting On Twitter Isn't Enough For Them
We're having a problem around Palm Beach County with people throwing antisemitic flyers onto driveways, and it's spreading. And it's true that besides littering, there's no law preventing this, though I would think that this constitutes harassment. And it's also true that the cops know who's doing this, because the same people are traveling around the country doing it and some have been arrested on other charges. The question is what can be done to combat this, and how, in 2023, so many people have fallen into the antisemitism routine. (WPTV/West Palm Beach)
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I'll Have The Belgian Waffle And A Cup Of Earl Grey, Hold The Politics
I think that sometimes the media overblows things that normal people don't care about. (Ya thjnk?) In this case, a woman decided to open a breakfast-and-coffee place in Connecticut and named it "Woke," and... yes, she got complaints from conservatives on Facebook. Of course she did. But did she get REAL complaints from REAL potential customers? Did any REAL people with functioning brains fall for the chatter about it being political? Of course not. She went ahead and opened the place, and she immediately had a bustling business with hour-long waits for tables. This is to say that talk radio hosts who make a big deal out of non-controversies (M&Ms critics, lookin' at you) ought to realize that there are more people out there who don't care and don't fall for these things than there are those who do. Not everyone is stupid. (Washington Post)
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Think Well Of Me, Barista
Again with the confusion over when and how much to tip. The proliferation of touch-screen payments and tip screens has led to some concern that too many places that were never tip-dependent are rattling their tin cups. And when you get presented with the tip screen at, say, the coffee shop or any counter-service business, do you tip? Do you feel guilty saying no? (WPTV/West Palm Beach)
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Big Brother Is Watching You Brush Your Teeth
Beloved western Pennsylvania convenience store/gas station chain Sheetz has an interesting policy that's come under fire lately: they have a "smile rule," a policy that bans employees from having bad teeth. Wait, what? Yeah, they want employees to grin at the patrons, and bad teeth, well, that might turn off customers. "Bad" is, of course, subjective, but employers do want employees to present an image of the company's choosing, so... should there be a rule like this? Is it the employer's business to police employees' teeth? If someone starts with "good" teeth and has a mishap that knocks out teeth, should they lose their jobs? (Business Insider)
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Your Desire To Do So Will Grow The Closer You Get To It
Here are tips on how to live to 100, and I guess the main questions are obvious: Do you WANT to live that long? How long DO you want to live, and what are you willing to do to ge there? Does it bother you that your friends and family might all be dead by then? (Washington Post)
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YOU Try Writing A Column About Nothing But Radio For 24 Years
Jacinda Ardern's resignation raises the topic of whether burnout is becoming more acceptable, but should that even be a debate? People burn out of things after doing them for a long time. There should be no shame in that. Many people -- most -- are not cut out to do the same thing for a long, long time. Change is necessary. Society isn't built for that, but it should be. So, what should businesses do to help workers who reach burnout stage? (BBC)
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No, Drinking To Forget What It's Doing To Your Brain Is Not A Good Reason
This we know: Alcohol is not good for you. Science shows that it's brutal on your brain. So... um... why are you doing it? Is the buzz worth the danger? Would you feel better if you don't drink? Why NOT give it up? Is it social pressure or do you feel that much better with the buzz? (CBC)
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Turns Out It's Better To Feel Good Than To Look Good. It Is, Right?
You know that people are shooting up diabetes medication like Ozempic to lose weight. Whether that's wise or not is a separate issue, but the topic here is that, yes, these things work, but people are finding out about a side effect of rapid weight loss: you look older. Your face loses weight, too, and you look more, um, cadaver-like. If that's the choice, would you rather look older and be healthier/weigh less, or look younger and heavier? (New York Times)
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She's Earned A Training Camp Invite From The Dallas Cowboys
An 81-year-old Florida woman allegedly got drunk at a restaurant and tried to punch employees, and when the cops came to try to calm her down and get her home, she kicked an officer in the nuts. And once they got her to the jail, she allegedly threatened to kill the cop. Nice to see a senior enjoying herself in her retirement years, though maybe she should knock off the death threats. And the violence. And the drinking. (WZVN-TV/Fort Myers)
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Take Your Cubicle And Shove It
Here's the Wall Street Journal warning that the job market for remote workers is getting tougher as employers want new hires to come to the office. You would think that employers would get with the program and make jobs remote or hybrid, but management's gonna manage, bosses gonna boss, and they're reverting to the practices that the workforce generally hates. (Wall Street Journal)
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When Warm Milk Won't Cut It
Research says that women, seniors, and lower-income people are more likely to use sleep medication, which doesn't seem much healthier than not sleeping enough to begin with. What about you? Can you get to sleep without pharmaceutical aid? Would you resort to that if you couldn't? (CNN)
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I Got A Roll Of Quarters And All The Time In The World
This is very cool: Somehow, a bunch of folks in Delaware have ended up creating a competitive pinball network, with tournaments and camaraderie. Pinball rules. This should be a thing everywhere. (WPVI-TV/Philadelphia)
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When You're Too Impatient To Wait To Be Struck By Lightning
Tip: Whatever you think of your local public utility, don't beat the electricity meter with a rock. This Florida Man did it and ended up in the hospital with burns. You would think it's pretty common knowledge that you don't screw with power lines, but Florida Man didn't get the memo. (WSVN-TV/Miami)
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Nothing Like A Free Breakfast Buffet To Kick Off A Long Day Of Hard Work
Corporate travel took a major hit in the pandemic, and it hasn't fully recovered. But don't cry for the hotel chains; in fact, they're booming with business travel. Who's traveling? Blue collar workers. Construction workers, nurses, truckers, all coming from small and medium-sized firms, traveling to job sites and rebounding way more than white collar business travel. Of course, they're at the Best Western instead of the Ritz-Carlton, but the hotel companies will take what they can get. (Wall Street Journal)
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Unless He Had Money On The Game. Then, It's Serious
Even pro athletes shouldn't take things this seriously: a soccer player in a local match near Miami beat up a referee after losing a game and receiving a red card, punching the guy and kicking him in the head. Dude, it's hardly life-and-death here. (WPLG-TV/Miami)
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Also, They Look Stupid
This article actually delves into the psychology and science of why kids hate their winter coats. It's all about restricting motion and wanting to be independent, and not because they run hotter than adults. You could have guessed that, having been a kid once yourself. (Star Tribune, Minneapolis)
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Maybe You Should Just Drive Instead
What, another lost-baggage story involving a customer using an Airtag to track her bag? Yes, and this time it's Air Canada who lost the bag, told the customer that the bag was on its way, and then, well, nothing, until the customer followed the Airtag to a storage unit where she discovered it was among many bags being held there and that the bag had allegedly been sold to a charity. She did get the bag back, but without explanation of how that happened. Again, don't check anything with the airline. Wear all your clothes onto the plane if you have to. (CTV)
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My Screen Is Messy Enough, Thanks
Yes, it's likely that Apple's next round of laptops will include touch screens. And, yes, many of us used to phones and tablets will reach up and try to manipulate things by touching their laptop screen, only to be reminded that they need to use the trackpad instead. The question is, do you NEED a touch screen? Because between fingerprints all over the screen and arm fatigue, it may not be better than the trackpad. I'm not feeling the need for it, myself. (Washington Post)
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You'll Get Used To It. Try Not To Crash In The Meantime
Have you encountered the newest trend in road interchanges, the divergent diamond? They're putting one in down here, and warning people not to follow their GPSes, because, well, as you cross over I-95, you'll actually be crossing over to the "wrong" side of the road, and the GPSes are unlikely to catch up very quickly. The idea is sound -- by crossing over to the left, the flow of traffic both onto the freeway below and forward is smoother -- but it's going to take some getting used to. Take a look and see if you'd like that in your town. (South Florida Sun-Sentinel)
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Paging Mr. Worldwide
Someone's suing the maker of Fireball over something I bet you wouldn't have known: They sell 99-cent mini bottles that are labeled "Fireball Cinnamon," but allegedly contain no whiskey -- it's a flavored malt beverage. They sell the little airline bottles in convenience stores where you can't by hard liquor, and they sell the same size bottles of the actual "Fireball Cinnamon Whisky" in liquor stores with similar labels but those are the real thing. The suit argues that the ones with the malt beverage are confusingly like the ones with the whiskey. Would you have known that? Would you have assumed that Fireball is Fireball? (Miami Herald)
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What, No Love For Powerberries?
Trader Joe's has released this year's winners of the Customer Choice Awards for shoppers' favorites, and thanks to retiring some of the longtime winners (orange chicken!), there are some new winners on the list, including butter chicken (yes! And chicken tikka masala is runner-up!). Anyway, if you're in a Trader Joe's city, everyone has their favorites and will love to tell you all about them. (Trader Joe's)
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Too Much Of A Meh Thing
Oreos stuffed with Oreos? Sort of: The latest limited edition Oreos are stuffed with creme that has bits of cookie in them. Seems like overkill, doesn't it? You'll try them anyway. (CNN)
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That's Okay, Just Tap Water For Me, Thanks
This column is a defense of really expensive cocktails like a $50 Manhattan served at a D.C. restaurant. You're paying for more than the ingredients, the Post's food critic says. You're paying for the expertise of the creator, the presentation, the execution. Maybe so, but there's STILL no drink worth fifty bucks. Would you pay that much for one drink? (Washington Post)
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Tell It To Judge Judy
How easy do you want a talk radio topic to be? Here you go: an article all about how neighbor disputes have gotten nastier. We've been lucky: With one exception, all of our neighbors have been nice and cooperative and we've had zero problem resolving any issues. But we've seen over recent years how other disputes have gotten ugly, from blasting music and noise to trashing a neighbor's yard and, of course, resorting to the courts. Bet you can find some listeners who've been through the wringer with bad neighbors. (Wall Street Journal)
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Take Them With You Or Take Them Home
Wait, people really bring pets to airports and then abandon them there? Really? That's cruel. Don't do that. Let's be more positive and tell stories about traveling with pets. We flew cross-country with our cat Mabel and lived to tell about it. (Washington Post)
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Could've Just Left A Bad Review On Yelp
A Florida man broke into a Joe's Crab Shack in Fort Myers, stole stuff, took a dump on the floor, and took off, with the police now looking for him. It's that last part that makes it special. He left wearing a Joe's Crab Shack cap and T-shirt, which is great advertising. (WBBH-TV/Fort Myers)
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Doesn't Matter To Me. I Drink Tea
Discarded K-cups are bad for the environment, right? A study from Canada suggests that if nonrecyclable K-cups are bad, brewing your coffee any other way is worse. Greenhouse gas emissions from regular drip brewing or French press brewing are actually more of a potential problem than little plastic cups, because -- stay with me here -- people use more coffee than necessary to brew a single cup, and the harvesting, roasting, and processing of coffee beans generate more greenhouse gases than anything else. K-cups mean less coffee used, so lower emissions attributable to the cup, so... I don't know, use a Nespresso, that uses even less coffee. Whatever. (BBC)
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Stay In Your Lane. No, Really
What would you do if you were driving along a major road and another driver cut you off and then pointed a gun at you? That's what someone on Miami's MacArthur Causeway allegedly did, and I wonder how many times this happens, and how many people fantasize about pulling a gun on other drivers just to scare them. Like driving isn't stressful and dangerous enough. (WTVJ/Miami)
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The Bad News Will Wait Until Morning
We've been told not to look at our phones at bedtime, and they've said that the blue light disrupts sleep, but there's another thing that causes problems with sleep: the aggravating content. Worry screws up sleep. You probably could have guessed that. Are you so addicted to social media that you'll look at your phone anyway? (Wall Street Journal)
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Just Call Me When It's Time To Go
If Disney can implement virtual queues for rides, which they are doing with a new ride at Disneyland, can't everyone? Can't the DMV or that crowded brunch restaurant or airport security let you queue up with an app and just show up when it's your turn? Because waiting on interminable lines is one of those things that occupies too much of the time we have on Earth, and technology can let us have it back. (KTLA/Los Angeles)
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Get It Over With
Here's an article with tips on how to become a morning exerciser, because some studies say morning workouts are better for you. Personally, early morning is the only time I can exercise at all, so I'm up very early for that. When do you get your workouts in? (New York Times)
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Eat Less, Not Earlier
Speaking of timing, one study -- and the caveat is that it isn't inclusive and more studies need to be done before you conclude blah blah blah -- says that WHEN you eat doesn't make a difference towards losing weight, contrary to what they've been insinuating forever. You've been told that you shouldn't eat after 7 pm, or stuff like that, and this study says it isn't going to make a difference, though they haven't studied a wide-enough panel of ethnicities to make a final conclusion. Anyway, does this news make a difference in when you eat? (CNN)
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Let The Gators Eat Them
One thing that's definitely a Florida thing is actually not supposed to be a Florida thing at all: iguanas. You already know we have a lot of them, and that they fall out of trees when it gets cold. But what some people don't know is that they're an invasive species, they're bad for the environment, and they're such a problem that it's pretty much open season on them: the state encourages killing them. And as this article notes, it's getting worse. The other week, a huge iguana planted itself behind my car and wouldn't budge, necessitating bringing in professional help to get it to move. Another fell out of the palm tree in front of my office window with a mighty thump, then scrambled back up the tree. They are annoying. But I don't want to kill anything, so I don't want to kill them. Would you? (WFOR-TV/Miami)
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Kinda Like How You Eat Discounted Post-Holiday Christmas Candy
You know that towns will use goats to clear brush. Here's another use for 'em: eating discarded Christmas trees. Hadn't thought of that, but seems like a good idea. The goats wouldn't complain, would they? (Wall Street Journal)
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Grasping The Enormity Of Mortality
Your hands can tell you a lot about the likelihood you'll live longer or die younger, but not the way you're thinking they can. No, it's not your lifeline or the wrinkles on the back, it's your grip. Weaker grip, worse health, shorter life. Excuse me while I go squeeze a tennis ball for a few hours. (Washington Post)
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Revenge Of The Fish
Be careful what you wish for: A guy fishing in Hawaii's last words were, apparently, "This fish is huge." It was. The ahi pulled him overboard and he's gone. At least, that's the story from a friend on the boat. (KITV/Honolulu)
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Everything In Its Place, If There's A Place For It
We now know what some sewer and drain clearing companies might be doing with the stuff they pump out of your septic tank: This Florida man is accused of driving his tank to an empty lot and emptying the sewage there. He got caught. Probably shouldn't have driven a truck with the name of his business there, but the dumping was also witnessed by someone who recognized him. Where DO they empty those things, anyway? (WBBH-TV/Fort Myers)
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You Can Replace A Boat. You Can't Replace You
The recovery of the body of the last person missing after Hurricane Ian, a man who stayed behind and went down with his beloved boat, reminds us that some people are determined to die as they lived, doing what they loved. He loved his boat and the ocean life and he wasn't going to leave no matter what, and that's something to talk about: is it better to go doing what you loved, or to leave and maybe be able to live longer and do what you loved another day? (WINK-TV/Fort Myers)
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The Party's (Not Quite) Over
Welp, Party City went bankrupt, hit by a variety of factors, including competition from Spirit Halloween and Target, the helium shortage, and... well, did the pandemic make you reconsider entertainment at home? Did you not have birthday parties for your kids because you didn't want to create a superspreader? Anyway, Party City won't be closing, at least not now, they're reorganizing, so you can still go there and buy balloons and penny candy. (CNN)
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Bitter Disappointment In Sports Is A Philly Thing, Too, But We'll Always Have Super Bowl LII
The official slogan for the Eagles in the NFL playoffs, surely concocted by someone in the league marketing and merchandising department, is "It's a Philly Thing," and whatever you think about the Eagles or Philly, it does raise the topic of what would be a "thing" for your town. Examples of Philly things: the obvious (Cheesesteaks and soft pretzels, Wawa, general toughness, Gritty), plus the accent, "jawn," Action News, parking in the middle of the street, Delco... not Rocky, though, that's kinda a thing for people outside Philly to think of as a Philly thing. Every city has stuff only the locals truly get. Yours? (WCAU-TV/Philadelphia)
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Might As Well Go For A Soda
It's not like it's a new thing that there's low- or no-alcohol beer. But here's a New Jersey brewery offering what it calls hopped water, which means it TASTES like an IPA without BEING an IPA, or with alcohol. And THAT means you'd be drinking it because you like the taste, and, well, if it doesn't result in a buzz, do you really like the bitter taste of a very hoppy IPA? Do you drink that stuff for the flavor or because it's beer? (Asbury Park Press)
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We're In Radio. We Know That Feeling
Those of you who've been through multiple layoffs may have a hard time shedding tears for young workers being laid off for the first time, but we've all been through it, right? Your first firing, your first layoff, the first time you had to apply for unemployment... what did it feel like? Do you ever get used to it? Those stories might be worth talking about. (BBC)
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Pack Light. Very Light
Here's a TV news report about Florida's $4 billion per year industry in nude recreation. Nudism! It's back! It never went away! It's still weird to most people! It's a talk radio topic! The article says that nudists enjoy board games, horseshoes, volleyball, tennis, and, yes, pickleball, the name of which takes on a whole new meaning at a nudist colony. Also, it sounds like nudist camps are pretty much the same as retirement communities, except for the clothing part. (WKMG-TV/Orlando)
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More Like The Great Escape
Last year, the New York Times interviewed a bunch of people who quit in the Great Resignation. This year, they went back and asked those people if they were happy with the decision to quit. It should not surprise you that they all said yes, they're happy, they made the right decision. Ask your listeners who quit if they regret it (they won't), and ask those who didn't if they think they probably should have (yes, probably). (New York Times)
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Leave The Omelette. Take The Cannoli
Wait. So, egg prices have, as you've noticed, skyrocketed, and the avian flu and resultant shortages are to blame, we've been told. Yet here's the biggest egg distributor in the U.S. celebrating record profits. Doesn't it seem less like they're passing their costs on to you and more like they're taking advantage of the market by jacking up their price well beyond covering their own increased costs and limited inventory? (CNN)
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At Least Make Them Pay You For Your Agreement
The proposed ban on noncompete agreements has companies trying to find other ways to screw their employees. Beware the nondisclosure agreement, which is an attempt to get around the undesirability (or possible illegality) of noncompetes by making it so that you CAN get another job, but you won't be able to use anything there that you've learned at your old job, thus making you unemployable in your field. Also, watch out for clauses that give your employer ownership of everything you do, whether or not it was done for them. And beware employers trying to sneak that kind of stuff through by including it in an "employee handbook" and making you sign something agreeing to the entire contents. If you can't afford a good lawyer to fight this stuff -- or even if you can -- don't sign away your rights. (Wall Street Journal)
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Don't Want To See That. Don't Want To Hear That. Don't Want To Think About That
The fact that a passenger inadvertently livestreamed the Nepal plane crash -- he was livestreaming the landing when things went bad -- raises the question of whether you want to see that. I'm always a little disturbed by seeing disaster video or hearing 911 calls; seems too voyeuristic and creepy. You? (Los Angeles Times)
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