Be Nice And Share: People Matter

As a program director, and occasional consultant, I totally dig that, with consolidation and all, that we are multi-tasking our butts off. We have difficulty finding time to make all our business related calls, yet alone respond to unsolicited calls and emails from people who weren't on the "to do list" at the start of the day. But damn it, it is something we must do, even if it is after hours. People are important. People matter. You win with people, as my old friend Dave Robbins reminds us.

Nice.

Defined at Dictionary.com as: Exhibiting courtesy and politeness. Which is also the definition for civility.

Just how civil are we? How do we treat our brethren? Like we would want to be treated? Recently a CD of Don McLean songs came across my desk. There's a children's song at the end of disc one called, "You've Got To Share."

"You've got to share and be nice,
Cause if you don't,
People who like you won't,
So take my advice,
Be nice, be nice"

You've got to share and be nice. It may very well be the first lesson we learn as children. It may also be the most important.

Cleveland Rocks

I listened to this song and its sweet, but simplistic sentiment, the morning after returning from the Conclave Talent Track in Cleveland where I spent time visiting with old friends, while making new ones. This gathering of industry leaders and newcomers was about giving back, sharing, and, being nice. The fresh faced-wild-eyed-soon-to-be-broadcasters received sage advice on many topics. They also received encouragement and support. This was refreshing. I wish I had had access to this kind of forum when I was starting out 26 years ago!

I left Cleveland wanting, more than ever, to help and serve others, to motivate, encourage, share, and, be nice. That's why I'm writing this article, and sharing it with you.

The Way You Make Me Feel

I heard recently that few people we encounter in our lives will ever remember what it is we did or didn't do, but, they will ALWAYS remember how we made them feel!

I've met tens of thousands of people in my life. Most, I have long since forgotten. The ones I remember most fondly are those who made me feel welcomed and worthy. They may only have smiled and shaken my hand at a convention, or replied to an email with an encouraging word while I was out of work. A lasting impression made in just seconds.

What impressions are you making?

Why Be Nice?

Scientists who study human behavior have been wondering this for years. Bottom line is: Being nice is GOOD for YOU!

Anthropologists say that the first activity that distinguished our ancient human ancestors from other animals was probably the formation of groups who hunted together and shared their food.

It was in the best interests of these groups to share with each other because on some days, group A would find food and group B wouldn't. The next day, the opposite could happen. If group A didn't share with group B on day one, you can imagine how willing...well, you get the picture.

Be nice and share, because there WILL come a day when YOU are the one that comes home empty handed.

Pay Forward

I've have been very fortunate over the years to have received tremendous advice and support. Most of these people don't need my help in return, so, I pay forward. There is no greater pleasure I receive when I am able to be a reference for an old friend, or put them in contact with one of my mentors. Sometimes, it is simply a "hang in there, you can do it" that someone needs.

The next time you receive an unsolicited call from someone "on the beach," how about picking up the phone and offering an encouraging word? It'll take a few seconds while making an immeasurable impact! (And it'll do wonders for you as well!)

The Golden Rule

I asked a few of the folks who I admire in this industry to share their thoughts on being nice and sharing.

Mike McVay / McVay Media
"I try to live by the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." It's that simple. If I know that what I'm thinking will upset ME...I pause and try to figure out a way to avoid upsetting anyone...and yet, accomplish the task at hand. Sometimes it's really difficult to do. I keep trying".

Dan Vallie / Vallie-Richards Consulting
"Instead of being concerned about whether other people care about you, or, like you, or respect you, or, love you...its more important that you care about them, like them, respect them, love them, and your life and your work life will be much better. Take every opportunity to live the way life should be lived and treat others the way you want to be treated. The Golden Rule is as "today" as it has ever been, and, possibly needed more than ever!"

Bill Richards / Regional VP of Programming, Clear Channel
"Always return phone calls and email, even if it's many days, or even in heavy load times, weeks later. I always hear from people who appreciated the communication, and am frankly surprised to hear so many that are frustrated saying things like; 'You're one of only a couple of people who even took the time to respond.' Remember that it could be YOU on the other end of things. Treat others how you would want to be treated."

Don Hallett / Program Director, Mix 106.5 Cleveland
"Build bridges and remember to cross them often."

Daniel Anstandig / VP Adult Formats, McVay Media
"A man whom I respect greatly, Bob Gourley, General Manager of Clear Channel/Colorado Springs, once told me that there is "nothing more unequal than the equal treatment of unequals". His point was that an effective leader deals with people one on one in a style that is personal and relevant to them. It is impossible to treat everyone with the same style and expect exceptional results all around. True kindness and effective leadership is understanding where people are in their lives and dealing with them compassionately---the way you would want to be treated".

What's Up Deepak?

In Deepak Chopra's book "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success," he writes about the Law of Cause and Effect: "Every action generates a force of energy that returns to us in like kind... what we sow is what we reap. And when we choose actions that bring happiness and success to others, the fruit of our action is happiness and success."

In other words, don't be a "Daffy Duck!" ("Mine, all mine.") Don't be afraid that sharing with others will somehow put them ahead of you in line. It's worth repeating: "The fruit of our action is happiness and success."

What's Up With That?

One last thing... and this one is the most curious. I am a big fan of Clarke Ingram. A couple of years ago Clarke would update us on All Access "Net Talk" about how his job search was going. It was mind-boggling when he would tell us of going to interviews for jobs, only never to hear from these folks again. No return phone calls. Nor, "Gee, thanks for visiting, we really liked you, but we found a more suitable candidate." Simply silence. As Seinfeld used to say, What's up with that?!

It might be one thing not to be able to respond, personally, to 400 applicants for an overnight position, but if you've spoken to someone on the phone four or five times, spent a thousand dollars in airfare and hotel accommodations, broken bread and discussed strategy on how they can turn your loser into a winner, shaken hands, exchanged smiles (and the company policy handbook!), don't you think this person deserves the courtesy of a phone call telling him or her that you've made your choice, it isn't him, and you wish them well?

What's Up with That?

For goodness sake, have a heart. (and grow a pair!)

Thank You!

Thanks to everyone who has been nice and shared with me over the years. I look forward to sharing whatever I can with whomever I can in the coming years.

Here's to civility, courtesy, politeness, sharing, and, being nice!

Thanks for allowing me this chance to share.

Have a nice day!