She Hears And Thinks Differently Than Him

Let's imagine a couple driving along together, listening to the radio. A commercial comes on which goes, "Macy's is having a Spring white sale." When she hears this message, she thinks: Hmm. Maybe I'll stop by later today and pick up some new sheets. While I'm at it, I think I'll get a new comforter with some fresh spring colors. Come to think of it, the entire bedroom could use a new look ... maybe I'll get some new throw pillows, and change the window coverings.

When he hears this commercial, he thinks: I don't need anything white. When is this station going to give an NCAA tournament update?

What happened?

Radio is an excellent medium to reach a woman since she listens with both sides of her brain at the same time. Because of this, she can hear a functional message with the left (logical) side of her brain, and create a story about what that functional message means to her with the right (creative) side of her brain.

She heard that Macy's was having a Spring white sale. She took that information and made it relevant to her life. Spring is about renewal ... flowers are breaking ground ... tree buds appear ... love is in the air ... and she wants to bring a new fresh seasonal look to the bedroom.

A man listens with one side of his brain at a time, making him incredibly good at focusing. The only reason he heard that Macy's was having a Spring white sale was because he was listening intently to the radio, waiting to hear the basketball scores. He has no need for whatever they sell in a Spring white sale. He moves on, not realizing that he's probably going to get pulled into the redecorating project his wife is planning.

Women bonding with women

Now, imagine that a woman has just bought a new dress, in the latest Spring color. When she asks her girlfriend how she looks, she's looking for details. "Wow! What a great color on you. You should wear that color more often. Turn around, let me see the back. And I love that length. You should think about getting some strappy sandals, though, instead of those pumps."

When she asks her significant other how she looks, most likely she'll hear "good," or "fine," which doesn't score any points for him. She'll ask him specifics, and he'll feel like he's being interrogated...and sure that somehow he's going to say the wrong thing.

Why?

Women bond with other women by gifting them with detailed compliments, peppered with a light dusting of recommendation (remember the strappy sandal remark?). Detailed compliments enable women to build and nurture relationships. This is one of women's highest values. After all, it's rather difficult not to engage in a conversation when someone is complimenting you on specifics.

Men strive to figure out where they rank in the pack. It's because of hereditary influences... he had to establish where he fit in the tribe. So, a response like "good," or "fine," is his way of telling his wife how she ranks in the pack. She, however, is not interested in where she ranks. She wants to know details. She wants conversation. And, it's difficult to have a conversation if the other participant is only going to use one word responses.

When he goes to the basketball game with his buddies later, he isn't going to have a conversation about how good the seats are. Most likely, he'll put his buddy down for not getting better seats.

Our advice?

When developing communications and promotions for women, bond with her as women bond with other women. Build and nurture a relationship with her.

Women's highest personal values are building and nurturing relationships. Messaging and visuals should portray these personal values honestly.

Because she uses both sides of her brain simultaneously, she's very good at multi- tasking, which makes her hard to reach. Your media should include the different contact points she interacts with during her day.

Stories resonate with women, because stories are a means of sharing - an important aspect of relationships. She'll respond more positively if your ad is presented as a story than if you use bullet points in the copy.

Guys, when she asks you how her new dress looks, you'll score big if you respond with some details. Go slow at first, otherwise you might say something that will get you in trouble. If this happens, it's best to go back to saying "fine!"