The Menu

Raytheon CEO Bill Swanson had an epiphany about human behavior. He was dining with an associate who became completely obnoxious to a server because the restaurant failed to stock a particular wine. Swanson said, "Suddenly it dawned on me that some people work from situational values -- turning on the charm with peers or colleagues one minute, then turning on those perceived to be in subordinate roles, the next."

Bill nailed it.

Don't know about you, but I've always sensed that watching someone interact with a person who they don't require for expediency can be both predictive and descriptive. A growing number of people are using the "waiter-screener" technique to at least rule out a candidate or a potential relationship. How someone treats an equal or superior is not at question since it's obvious that coexisting with "influentials" is protocol for survival.

CEOs and leadership figures everywhere continue to reinforce this phenomenon.

Former Sara Lee CEO, the late Brenda Barnes -- herself a former waitress and postal clerk -- once remarked, "How a person treats a waiter tells us a lot about how they'll treat an employee." She was right; people are best measured in ordinary settings and everyday circumstances. If someone abuses a waiter, doorman, a parking attendant or a rookie part-time weekend board-operator, what can we expect them to do under duress with any staff member?

The Waiter Rule has gained consensus when measured among rank and achievement. Former Office Depot CEO Steve Oldand remembers his early years when he was serving in a tony French restaurant in Denver. The raspberry sorbet he was serving cascaded off the tray and onto the expensive white gown of his patron. Decades hence, he can still see the catastrophe in slow motion. "I thought she'd shoot me on sight," said Steve. But instead, her kind reaction remained with him long into his illustrious career. His expensively clad customer was startled but remained infinitely kind and in her reassuring voice told the young waiter, "It's okay, it wasn't your fault."

Why do some people in our business treat the most rookie part-timer or freshman seller the same way they do their market manager or group VP, while others jump at the chance to practice the clubbing-of-the-seals approach at every opportunity? It might be said that like all behavior, we learn from what we see at very early stages in our lives; and from there subconsciously replicate it. At its extreme for people in and outside your building, often the less expeditious someone appears, the worse they'll be treated, if not completely ignored.

Aside from the most cosseted people in early life, almost everyone in a coveted leadership position started with an entry level job; paper boy, car wash attendant, a waiter or in my case, a part-time weekend guy on a local radio station.

Thankfully, many of us have never forgotten where we came from or who helped us make the climb. It's also good to remember the ancient oriental proverb which still applies: "If he works for you, you work for him."