Are You Really Listening?

Most of my past columns have dealt with some form of coaching and/or leadership. Through the past year, I have learned that there is one trait that is common and crucial to both – listening!

I recently read an amazing book about listening by Kate Murphy, called “You’re Not Listening – What You’re Missing And Why It Matters.” I picked it up on a recommendation to sharpen my own listening skills but, after finishing the book, I could see where this could help managers, radio programmers and on-air talent alike.

How good of a listener do you think you are right now? I can tell you that, prior to reading this book, I thought I was pretty darn good, but not so much now.

The author is very adamant about a few attributes you must have for good listening. The one that stood out the most for me is our tendency, in a conversation, to control the narrative. As I’ve thought about radio interviews I’ve heard or coaching sessions I’ve been a part of, the host (speaker) keeps bringing the conversation back to them as quickly as possible, ignoring his/her subject.

Controlling the narrative.

Ms. Murphy gets very specific with this in one chapter that describes how someone she knew prepared and executed a radio interview. She brought up the difference between a “shift response” and a “support response” in an interview setting. Shift response happens when the conversation is directed away from the subject and back to the speaker. Support response, meanwhile, is, of course, the exact opposite, where the conversation is always directed to the subject.

When I’m listening to most radio/artist interviews, I’m hearing a shift response. For example:

Personality – “Where’s the best concert crowd so far on your tour?”

Artist – “I really enjoyed the fans in Chicago. They were rowdy, fun and knew the music.”

Personality – “I’ve been to Chicago, and I can tell you they love their concerts. I remember seeing you there last year …”

That, by description, is a shift response. The dialogue has now “shifted” back to the personality’s experience, which is not the goal of the interview. More than likely, the personality had this in his/her mind while the artist was answering the question. This is the biggest cause of the shift response.

A support response to this would be:

Personality – “What made the fans in Chicago so different than anywhere else?”

That one comeback question basically “supports” the artist’s answer and directs the narrative back to him/her. The personality LISTENS to the entire answer and follows up to support the artist’s comment. If you’re thinking of what to ask next while the answer is happening, you’re already headed to a shift response and a mediocre exchange.

Think about this as you do an interview, are coaching a talent or meeting with someone on your staff. Keep the conversation in the direction of the subject (the other person).

To add to this concept, the author mentions more than once in the book that, when the subject feels known and appreciated (support response), they are more willing to share with you. To be a good listener is to find those things you have in common and gradually build rapport, which, in turn, creates comfort and the subject will open up.

Ms. Murphy mentions that hostage negotiators are usually the best listeners. Look at all the above and you can see why. Thankfully, we are not in the hostage negotiation business, but we ARE in the business of information and entertainment where the two must be hand in hand for an interview to be interesting and talent and staff to be engaged.

We are also in the business of building a winning culture in our building and among our staff. No matter how you slice it, good listening is the key to making it all work. Listening = passion, entertainment, and loyalty back to you.

“Taking Your Radio Presence To The Next Level. Be it an artist, radio programmer or on-air talent. Coaching and mentoring down to your foundational level”

Contact me:
John Shomby
Owner/CEO Country’s Radio Coach
jshomby@countrysradiocoach.com
757-323-1460
https://countrysradiocoach.com