CPR Promotional Check-Up - May 25, 2011

He Said "Balls"

Jay Kruz from the ridiculously successful Rewind 94.9 in Cincinnati is one of those people who someday will be described by his neighbors as "Quiet...he kept to himself...very polite and always said 'hi'...his lawn was immaculate..."

I don't know what he does in his spare time but he always finds cool stuff.

Most of you will find yourself with an event, concert or festival that will have you out in front of 100,000 people and trying to stand out from all the other stations in town. This would do it. http://www.hamsterswaterballs.com/ There are a couple of different permutations of this available for rent, in case this company isn't in your market.

Lower Back Logos

If they haven't already, soon the beaches and pools will be full of listeners slowly developing malignant melanomas. So, if they're going to slowly fry themselves onto an Oncology Ward, lets at least get some exposure from it.

Have downloadable logo'ed templates that your audience can print, cut out and then put on various parts of their body when they go to tan, slowly tanning your call letters onto their (firm, young, nubile, hot, sweaty, oily, pert) torsos. Have your street teamers spotting these human billboards for prizes all summer.

A Suggestion For The PD's

Living on a farm in Minnesota tends to make me a TAD disconnected from the rest of humanity and from the stations that I consult. I was a telecommuter before it was cool to be a telecommuter. And the internet has really helped to keep me up-to-speed with what's happening at the stations. I try to at least once a week check all their websites to see what is going on. And I'm glad I do.

There's one station that I truly believe has an IT person who speaks English as a fifth language. I'm always e-mailing them grammatical corrections. Another station had a Taco Bell contest icon from last Summer still up and running this past February. And one station I just went to had some jock bios that would lead you to believe that none of the airstaff actually listen to their station. Under "Favorite Artist: they all named acts or genres of the music that were not within anyone's wildest fantasy of being close to the format. It said to me: I only listen to this station because I work here and because I have to.

PD's; go and read what's on your site every week. You might just catch some embarrassing things.

The Chucker

Tom Bernard has pretty much ruled the roost in the Twin Cities in the mornings for, well, going on 24 years. One of his bits is something/someone called "The Chucker". Chucker is the host of Chucker's Playhouse on Power 92. He is an old, puking DJ who has a hard time with facts and stumbles through even the easiest of interviews. Bernard is such a huge morning show that he turns down all but the best interview ops. He's very selective with who he'll waste time talking to. So what does he do with the myriad of lame interviews that get shlepped to the station (the unknown actor who now has his own sitcom on the WB, or some guy who has written a book about Christian Love)? He gives them to The Chucker.

Chucker was played by John Lassman for years. It was art. Imagine every semi-senile old puker you've ever worked with. And then imagine them trying to interview Fred Savage. (Who Chucker kept lauding about his work on Doogie Howser). I'm jaded. There's not a lot left that will make me laugh anymore. But Chucker will. And you feel almost sorry for the poor guy sitting in front of a phone bank at 5 am in LA, dealing with this guy who keeps getting lost and having to restart the interview.