CPR Promotional Check-Up - Jan 25, 2012

Superbowl Widows

We spend so much time trying to lockdown big screen TV's (yawn) and viewing parties and getting someone to pay for tickets so we can send people to the game, that we forget that there is a HUGE segment of the audience that doesn't care to sit and make small talk with the wives and girlfriends of their husband's/boyfriend's friends and co-workers while massive men pummel themselves into bloody unconsciousness, all in the hopes of getting a tennis shoe endorsement deal.

It could be as simple as doing a thing where the female airstaff gets a limo and takes a bunch of women out for shopping and a day at a spa. I, of course, prefer taking a more PG-13 route. One of my clients (and why aren't you one?) is doing the Bachelorette Bowl, hosted by their mid-day jock. 300 women in a hotel ballroom. Male strippers. Booze. Only way to go is to win on the air. They're teasing it right now and you'd think they were giving away $1000 bills. The phones are flooded with women trying to get the passes and they haven't even started the contesting

Happy Senators Day

That's next Monday and of course there will be no schools, banks will be closed and most government offices will not be open. Not really, but this idea came from Timmy Daniels formerly of KCLD in St. Cloud who suggested a great prank would be to invent a non-existent holiday. Which really pisses me off: I wish I'd thought of this idea. Fake calls from young listeners who are excited to have the day off, and people calling to ask if it's true that liquor stores are closed today. Hijinks will ensue.

BTW: www.uglydress.com is a great collection of BAD bridesmaid and prom dresses.

Suddenly Single

Valentines 1989. Not a highpoint for me. A marginally insane woman I'd been dating for a staggering six years went off her medication and made life very exciting that Winter. Consequently, Valentines was not something I was too into. And you know what? There are plenty of people every year who feel that way. So do a Suddenly Single Party for people who have NO interest in the pink hearts, chocolate, love poems and other accoutrements that can make this holiday a living Hell for some people.