CPR Promotional Check-Up - Feb 9, 2017

34 Seconds

This is funny. If you're at a station that allows you to use youtube, it's worth a repost.

Radio is the Great Reposter Of Other People's Content. The '34 seconds'thing has been done quite a few times. I think summing up your job as a DJ in 34 seconds would be worthy of the 34 minutes that it would take to create and post the vid.

Mooth & Thsquirrel

Hot 99.5 in DC seized on the Russian hacker imaging idea and their Grammy's flyaway imaging will be done by two men somewhere in Eastern Europe who have been tasked with disrupting the "music trophy show" and releasing the codewords. Like:

No no no...not hack. Hackie sack. What wrong with you 'mericans? World be better place if all play the hackie sack.

Bruno Mars? I love his song "Uptown (bleep)".
No you crazy person, it is Uptown Truck
Whatever, he short and squirrely like a little poodle
My sister name is Bruno. She big like horse. Work in tractor plant in Vladivostak

(clicking of keys) Ah...Grammy computer easy to hack. Who have password 'flirtyboyryan69'? Now we have some fun. (clicking keys) Replace 21 Pilots with LFO. Ha! Bring capitalist rewards program to it's knees. Next? We crush the Lifetime Spirit Awards (evil laugh)

What is this group chain...smokers. They not know that general of all surgeons declare smoking deadly? Shake my head. (clicking) They now vape...smokers. (evil laugh)

Is it just myself but is impossible to believe that Mr. and Mrs. Rapper name their son Chance The. Americans. What the flip.

7 years. Ugh....no like. Remind me of time in gulag. (clicking) we now replace Adele (more clicking) with the good vibrations by Marxist Mark. He kick it old school, da?

Wet Head - Water Roulette Game

From Mike Campbell with Newcap who notes that you can use any liquid and that the app allows you to play with videos and social media. And he wants you to note his wet crotch.

http://wethead.toys/

Valentines Don't

So the bad client requests have begun to come in. Gleaned from some of the promo requests, here are some reminders of what we don't do:

• Giftcards. Giftcards suck. Even though you ARE giving away 'cards, use some semantics. "Caller ten wins a huge assortment of fresh cut roses that you might need a second vase to hold." "Our prize closet is FILLED with flowers from all over the world. It smells like the rainforest in here and finally we got the stink from when Dustin Diamond was in-studio, outta here. Thanks Floral USA."
• We can't get more than 4% of people to pick up the phone and try to win $1000, so asking people to write letters about why they love their spouse to win a $25 gift basket from a client is going to result in maybe three entries.
• "The station will ask listeners to call in or email for a chance to profess their love on air. They could be popping the question or saying I love you for the first time. If you are selected you will also win a giftcard."
• Pretty much anything that involves dating a DJ. Only the most tactful among us have ever been able to pull this off without coming off as pompous egotistical dbags.