CPR Promotional Check-Up - Sep 6, 2017

Hacking & Entering

This came up yesterday as something that could be semi-regular for a morning show. It's occasionally funny to break into the GM's office when he's out on a Friday, steal his/her stuff and give it away.

The morning show to remain nameless is going to get bored occasionally, go and crack the GM's work computer and initiate Tinder exchanges, post things like "What is this? It wasn't there when I went to bed?" on the social media and perhaps change the profile pic. Why? Why not? The same reason I used to change all of Rick Thomas's favorites on this office computer at K-Earth to incredibly obscene sites.

Calendars

Calendars are to Christmas, what chocolate from a convenience store is for Valentines: the gift for the person you don't know what to get.

If you were going to do one, there are obviously many ways to gen sum rev off them, not the least being on-sale locations.

In the past I referenced how the little town I live in did a calendar of 12 local high-profile residents. Naked. Or seemingly naked. Creatively covered. And in Scandia, the guy who runs the liquor store is about as high up the food chain as they get so the photo of little old Adrian seemingly filling the beer display with a 24 pack across his midsection was October's image.

They raised $70,000 for a girl who had cancer. Based on my little time on the world wide web, nudity seems to work.

As witnessed by Radiowave helping with a naked calendar for the SPCA of Namibia.

The Dreaded Morning Show-On-Vacation Week

If I had my way, the lazy, over-paid, good-for-nothings would get NOTHING. And LIKE IT. But, on a semi-regular basis, you need to let them free to rehabilitate and detoxify their systems. Here is some imaging that I wrote for The Morning Hot Tub at Hot 89.9 in Ottawa. File away for the next time the morning show scatters.

• The regularly scheduled program, The Morning Hot Tub featuring Mauler,
  Laura, Rush and Josie has been pre-empted to bring you a special Spanish
  language rebroadcast of the exciting 1978 World Cricket semi-finals of Peru
  vs. Indonesia. The Morning Hot Tub will return at it's regular time, next
  Monday. Thank you.
• Today's Morning Hot Tub is a special guest hosted episode, with the parts
  of Mauler, Laura, Rush and Josie being played by various food items we
  bought on clearance at (budget grocery chain). Honestly? We do it all the
  time and no one seems to notice.
• The Morning Hot Tub is on vacation and will return next Monday at their
  regularly scheduled time. Vacation? Those people? There's some irony for
  you. Sorry. I digress. Please enjoy whatever budget programming has been
  chosen as a substitute.
• The Morning Hot Tub featuring Mauler, Josie, Rush and Laura are on
  vacation and in other parts of Canada, stealing bits from other morning
  shows to bring back and, oh, uh, they're using this time off to refresh
  their creative juices and prepare some of the best and most original morning
  programming found anywhere. That's our story and we're sticking to it.
• The Morning Hot Tub is off this week. They wanted to take a vacation and
  the boss said "Take as much time as you like. I could get four monkeys in
  here and they could probably do your job better then you do and for a
  helluva lot less money." And so far, he's right.
• The Morning Hot Tub will not be in this week. Their dog ate their show.
• The Morning Hot Tub featuring Mauler, Josie, Rush and Laura are on Summer
  hiatus as they prepare for another season of drama, car chases,
  cliffhangers, tabboo love, illicit romance, unfulfilled dreams and a special
  appearance by Mayim Byalik as the Bosses Niece! The fun starts this coming
  Monday at 6 am.
• The Morning Hot Tub has taken this week off as they wrestle with the
  decades-old questions: what's bothering the Beaver? The answer to that and
  more zany hilarity this coming Monday as they return with a new season on
  Hot 89.9.