CPR Promotional Check-Up

February Fools

I was trading emails with Joel Denver over the holidays and we were commiserating over the fact that, as we both verbalized, "Geez, no one is doing anything exciting." It's like US Radio crawled into a metaphorical box in late '07 and has been there ever since.

Yes. I know you don't have any money. You don't need it. The best Buzz Bits cost zip.

Think of your station as Johan Santana. You are up there zinging fastball after fastball across the plate. One after another. Halloween event. Kanye concert. Food drive. Holiday concert. Toy drive. Christmas Wish. New Years Eve event. Zing zing zing zing zing.

These are all good things. But you (and the other pitchers in the market) have lulled the batters into a slumber.

THROW THE FREAKING CURVE. Some chin music. Brush them back. Wake them up. Get their attention. That's all Promotions really is. Getting people to notice you.

There are two immediate opportunities you can exploit.

Lights Out (Market/State)

This has already been done by half of you. And it has never NOT gotten press. Usually print. Your cost? A website. (Sound of "But we can't just buil...". Yes you can. Your 14 year-old niece could do it over a weekend and she'd be happy with some CD's. Your cost? The domain name.)

The concept is that the state has declared a ban on holiday lights effective January 18th. People who display lit lights/ornaments after that date will be fined. Go to (website) to report a violator or file for an extension. The first station to do this was Alice in Denver. Website was smoking. A Citadel station to remain nameless got in a tiny bit of hot water for using the name of the legitimate local power company: don't do that. Create a fake government agency. I think Hot in Ottawa caused by far the most bureaucratic havoc with their bit last year. The fake agency they created, it turned out, really existed...and was flooded with angry calls from the citizenry telling them to mind their own damn business.

So you go to the site, you fill out answers to stupid questions like "Is there a religious icon used in the display", "Twinkle or Non-Twinkle", "Are lights stored in balls or in strings".

Click submit and you are forwarded to a picture of the morning show, draped in lights, holding a sign that says "Gotcha!"

I have copy if you'd like to see it..

3D Radio

Last year TV converted to digital. Why not make listeners think that Radio does too? I have copy from 102 Jamz in Orlando from the Russ Allen Era, when they were the first to introduce 3D Radio to the market. Best Buys and Radio Shacks were flooded with inquiries about if the new radios were in stock.