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Because A Boring Jock Bio Is A Sad Thing

My friend Karl (who once puked on the side of my dads van at the state highschool hockey tourney and didn't graduate with us because his parents pulled him in favor of rehab) kind of drifted through college, had four or five majors, then suddenly picked Law, buckled down and to all of our surprises is now a muckety muck Wall Street attorney.

For one of his professional profiles, Karl did this.

- In between growing older, fatter and balder, I've managed to: procreate, obtain a 4 year degree in a blazingly-fast 6 years, dabble in publishing (it was cortex-witheringly boring, and I found I was not lunching with the next Faulkner), self-flagellate my way through law school (cortex withering again, and lunching with a host of people easily as neurotic and anal as I was - that was nice), gain entry into the rarefied ranks of the Wall St legal world (more anal neurotic lunch mates, less self-flagellation), dabbled in fast cars, divorces and distance running (not necessarily, but possibly, in that order), and finally read Moby Dick. For the record, I wasn't part of the Madoff mess. -

And then you go and read a jock bio that is either so dry that smoking should be prohibited, or is unctuously plathering and full of themselves. Like the guy who in a paragraph reminded the listeners that he's married "Sorry girls" and that "(DJ) gets it". What the hell does that mean?

We're in a silly business. Don't take yourselves too seriously.

Christina Fitzgerald WAS the best street teamer in Radio before Newcap sent her off to AAA (Corner Brook) to work on her fastball and await the call to the Bigs. This is her bio. It's like a Mad Lib. The audience can make her whatever they want her to be. Or as Joe Walsh once named an album: "You Bought It, You Name It."

http://www.k-rock1039.com/index.asp?mn=3&id=1250&cc=6